Firing The Office

NBC's new series, The Office, premiered tonight. We got off on the wrong foot because it bumped the time for The Apprentice, which I didn't realize until I turned the tv on at nine and saw everyone headed into the boardroom already. Oh well. I recovered.

I had looked forward to The Office because the previews looked funny and it featured Steve Carell, who I loved in Bruce Almighty. Watching the full episode was like dragging a half hour into three years and one of those moments when you realize these people have taken the three ONLY funny scenes out of the pilot in order to catch an audience via promos.

Pretty disappointing and I can't fathom how they'll pull off writing very long on this foundation they've laid. I wanted to quit in the first five minutes and I wasn't even in the cubicle next door.

I wish someone would write a true comedy about life in the office. Heaven knows there's enough material for that madness.

PS - While I'm looking like a complete tv junkie, I have to say that I was glad to see Mikala go tonight on American Idol. It was time, even though I really liked her before she reached the top twelve. Go Bo.

A Gallon of Milk Away

My breakfast ritual consists of eating something, usually toast, and then finishing things off with a glass of milk. I was dreading the milk this morning because the gallon expired yesterday and I hate drinking expired milk. It makes me feel sick and as if I'm inching a little closer to death with every gulp. I've never heard of someone dying from day-after-expiration-date milk ingestion, but I certainly don't want to be the first.

Anyway, I was quite excited to open the fridge today and realize that the gallon had, in fact, been finished off by my husband last night - on the date of it's expiration - leaving me with new milk rights. Today's milk expires on March 26th.

I sometimes gauge my life by the expiration date on milk. For example, when we bought today's new milk on Tuesday night, I reached for it and exclaimed, "look - this doesn't expire until the 26th - by then, we'll only be days away from..." It's as if to say, "this exciting thing in life is so close, milk that we buy today will still be good when it gets here."

So, check out those expiration dates, folks!

Tomorrow, Tomorrow
I love ya!
Tomorrow
You're only a gallon of milk away.

You have to speed up that last line a bit, but it works.

Such a shame that we can't afford counseling, I know...

Purpose Driven Madness

"You're here in my apartment for some reason," she told him, saying he might be destined to be caught and to spread the word of God to fellow prisoners. She told him his escape from authorities had been a "miracle."

--The Fox News account of Ashley Smith's hostage situation with Brian Nichols

Ashley Smith did a great thing this past weekend. She talked a killer into turning himself over to authorities. The people of Atlanta were grateful as they rested easy on Saturday night.

I wasn't going to say anything about it because she did something that I could never do. I would have absolutely freaked out, lost control, done anything except remain calm when brought face to face with someone that had raped and killed so many.

But isn't this a classic case of over-christianizing something? A sample of how we try to fit God into who we need him to be, rather than allowing him to be who he is?

Why would God destine someone to kill and then be caught so that he can save fellow prisoners? I doubt the family of the immigration worker that was murdered Friday night thinks it's a miracle that Nichols escaped authorities Friday morning.

Talk about a twisted view of "The Purpose Driven Life."

Why do we insist on explaining everything? Why can't we just accept a fallen world? I swear, the way we as Christians talk most of the time, it's no wonder that people are continuously turned away.

It's a miracle that the 51-year-old guard survived. It's a miracle that more weren't injured. It's a miracle that Nichols surrendered peacefully. It's a miracle that Ashley Smith is alive and uninjured today.

As far as God's role in all of this, I can guess at a few. He is the Protector of those that are safe, the Comforter of those who lost loved ones and, ironically, the Final Judge of Brian Nichols.

Ashley Smith has much more compassion than I do for people like Brian Nichols. I find that very admirable, since she lost a husband four years ago after he was stabbed to death. I would guess that she has extended the same grace to that person.

Yeah, I admire her. Because I'm still trying to come to terms with fear and forgiveness for a man that's been behind bars in Illinois for nearly twenty years.

Minix Road

Guys don't ask for directions. I don't have that problem. I get directions. Apparently it's the getting back part that gives me trouble.

Last week I left work during lunch to visit a co-worker that's home on maternity leave. She lives about ten miles from where we work...ten miles of curves, dead ends, weird intersections and lots of turns. I made it there fine and kept the paper with the directions in my purse when I left. I figured that I had gotten there okay, I would be fine remembering my way back.

I was wrong.

I knew I was supposed to turn left, which I did, onto Minix Road. I followed it for quite a ways. Then I got to that point where you have second thoughts. Was I so absorbed in getting there that I missed seeing this church? I don't remember that house... After this comes the acceptance that you are on the wrong road, but yet there's the hope that it will end in a place that's familiar to you.

Minix Road ends at Fischer. I don't know Fischer. There are no familiar landmarks to the right or left. This, I suppose, is as good a time as any to turn around, and I once again pass the house and the now familiar church.

I turn left at the end of Minix and then make another left onto the road I was supposed to originally take, Shaw. Yes, Shaw is looking familiar.

Well wouldn't you know that Shaw also ends at Fischer. I have this huge moment of "duh." Why didn't I recognize Fischer as a road I had taken just two hours earlier? Oh well, I wouldn't have known which way to turn onto Fischer back there anyway. No big deal.

A few miles down the road, I'm watching for my next turn, thinking it should be anytime now. My eyes are scanning every sign as I pass. And all of a sudden, there's Minix Road.

WHAT?!? I have just made the hugest circle in twenty minutes - twice the amount of time it should have taken me to get back to work! And all of this time and wasted gas to realize that I should have just turned left!

After a few minutes of reeling over this discovery, I'm thinking I sure have been on Fischer Road a long time. I wonder where my turn is...

Yes, as soon as I think I've found where I am and have gotten over my circle mistake, I realize I have no idea where I am. I'm coming up on a stoplight. There wasn't a stoplight on Fischer on the way there...WHERE IN THE WORLD AM I?

And then, like water in a desert, I see a familiar nursery sign. I've somehow gotten to Highway 34. I have no idea how, but I finally know where I am. Five minutes later, I'm back at work.

One thing Mic and I have refused to say is that Newnan was a mistake. It sure feels like one. It feels like turning around at the end of Minix, only to find ourselves back at Fischer by another road, wasting a lot of valuable time.

It's like we've come full circle. Our lives at this moment look very similar to the way they were when we first got married.

But I still wouldn't trade Minix Road. We passed Denver on the way. And somehow becoming familiar with Newnan has added to who we are today. We may not discover for a long time why we ended up on this "wrong road" that seemed to be beckoning us almost two years ago. We refuse to say those feelings were just bad pizza.

Let's just put it this way - at least the next time we come to the intersection of Minix and Fischer, we'll know to just turn left.

Comic Relief

So I've been training my replacement for a few weeks now and she's coming along, but I thought I'd share something fun from a couple weeks back...

The dentist had come and asked us to do an estimate for a patient that needed dentures. I told C to start by writing what we had done that day, which included a prostho (short for prosthodontic) consult and an x-ray.

I looked over a few minutes later to see that she was about to give the woman a quote for a prostate exam.

Hmmm...now there's a new one. And you thought you dreaded the dentist before...

Extravagance

Before you read on, be sure to watch this.

This video bothered me. I believe in missions and I back up that belief with my checkbook. I believe in ministering to the poor and that’s why I’ve found myself interacting with kids in the midst of a garbage dump in Central America. I’ve played with orphan kids in Romania and I’ve knocked down walls in Ecuador so that radio waves can invade Afghanistan.

I realize that, if Americans would simply tithe their 10%, we could knock out world hunger.

But I think there’s a reality check between thinking that it’s wrong to make a music video because kids in Africa are starving and realizing that this is America and we’ve been blessed and we’ve worked hard for what we have.

Yes, but a woman shouldn’t have to work two jobs and sell oranges just to send her kids to school. It’s wrong. It’s a fallen world. And we should do everything we can to help.

Yeah for Sarah Mclachlin. We now are all very aware of what her right hand is doing.

And, just since I’m being a jerk (or at least coming across as one), the cost of a t-shirt is $5, an investment that would make it look like Sarah actually has a shirt on in this video, rather than appearing to be topless, covered only by a guitar.

I'm trying to find a balance. The balance between being concerned about the poor all over the world and enjoying the blessings in my own life.

When I was trying to think about this in terms of the Bible, a story of incredible extravagance came to mind. Remember when Mary poured expensive perfume on Jesus? The disciples were quick to jump all over her - "Why this waste? This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor."

And I love what Jesus says. "Why are you bothering this woman?"

I think America has been extremely blessed because, regardless of how much we try to hide it, we were founded on Christian principles - a nation under God. And the answer isn't that we're bad people for having fancy computers and fast cars and big houses.

I know a wealthy couple, the Merillat's, in Michigan. Because of their extravagance, I went to one of the most beautiful Christian college campuses in the Midwest. Because of their extravagance, I enjoyed a semester at Focus on the Family learning about leadership in church, family and society.

We need to give extravagantly out of the blessings that we've been given.

I think Rich Mullins sums up what I am failing to say plainly:

Before I got into this music business, I was determined to live a life of dire and grinding poverty. I remember my uncle saying, "Wow, you are so proud of being poor - what's so great? You would do a lot better to be a little more industrious, a little more frugal. If you're really concerned about the poor, becoming poor isn't going to help them, it's just going to ease your own conscience. If you're really concerned about the poor, go out and make a fortune and spend it on them."
++Rich Mullins++