Position Filled
We've been dreading these words. Everyday, there's another check of the email and another trip to the mailbox. As you click or unlock the box, there's a slight cringe as you reach for the contents. What if there's a letter with a "thanks but no thanks, the position has been filled?" So far, this has only happened with one church that we weren't that excited about anyway.
On the other hand, there's this tiny rush of hopeful adrenaline some days when I'm packing up stuff at work and getting ready to head home. Maybe there's been news today. So far, this hasn't happened.
A position was filled this past week - mine. It makes my insides nervous and shaky just to think about it, and the tears begin threatening to spill over.
I had a horrible night on Friday. I was this total mess of tears that wouldn't stop. We had had an awesome night on Thursday. One of our good friends from college was in town and we had so much fun just hanging out and catching up. He's one of those people that you've known for almost ten years, that understands who you are, has shared experiences with you in the past, sympathizes with where you are now and has the ability to make you laugh. We don't have anyone else like that around here and I had looked forward to his visit for several weeks. Friday was the combination of nothing else on the calendar to look forward to, an empty weekend, an unknown future and the certainty that I am going to be training myself out of a job.
They hired my replacement on Thursday morning. She'll start either February 7th or 14th. That means that I have two more weeks doing my job as I know it. After that, I'll be training her and after I'm done training her, my job will become answering phones and shredding paper. They assure me that they need me for as long as I need to stay. Someone is going out on maternity leave, but it's not like she has a job that I can actually take over.
I understand where they're coming from. I've known that they were going to start looking for someone - my job was listed in the paper within about a week and a half of Mike being fired. I understand that she needs to be secure in her knowledge of my job in order for the transition to be a smooth one, but it's just not going to be the same.
I know that I shouldn't be living in the land of "what if," but just for the sake of visiting there for one moment...what if we're here for several more months? What am I going to do - living in an apartment that is starting to look bare and working at a job that isn't really there?
WANTED: Poet who doesn't know it.
POSITION FILLED.
On the other hand, there's this tiny rush of hopeful adrenaline some days when I'm packing up stuff at work and getting ready to head home. Maybe there's been news today. So far, this hasn't happened.
A position was filled this past week - mine. It makes my insides nervous and shaky just to think about it, and the tears begin threatening to spill over.
I had a horrible night on Friday. I was this total mess of tears that wouldn't stop. We had had an awesome night on Thursday. One of our good friends from college was in town and we had so much fun just hanging out and catching up. He's one of those people that you've known for almost ten years, that understands who you are, has shared experiences with you in the past, sympathizes with where you are now and has the ability to make you laugh. We don't have anyone else like that around here and I had looked forward to his visit for several weeks. Friday was the combination of nothing else on the calendar to look forward to, an empty weekend, an unknown future and the certainty that I am going to be training myself out of a job.
They hired my replacement on Thursday morning. She'll start either February 7th or 14th. That means that I have two more weeks doing my job as I know it. After that, I'll be training her and after I'm done training her, my job will become answering phones and shredding paper. They assure me that they need me for as long as I need to stay. Someone is going out on maternity leave, but it's not like she has a job that I can actually take over.
I understand where they're coming from. I've known that they were going to start looking for someone - my job was listed in the paper within about a week and a half of Mike being fired. I understand that she needs to be secure in her knowledge of my job in order for the transition to be a smooth one, but it's just not going to be the same.
I know that I shouldn't be living in the land of "what if," but just for the sake of visiting there for one moment...what if we're here for several more months? What am I going to do - living in an apartment that is starting to look bare and working at a job that isn't really there?
WANTED: Poet who doesn't know it.
POSITION FILLED.
posted by Joy at
2:34 PM
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