Jtwenty7

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Boycotting the Snooze Button

Why do you get up in the morning?

It was time for the project portion of Senior Capstone and the question was simple. The answer wasn't too difficult at the time:

Because I'm passionate about God.
Because I'm ready to use my talents.
Because I want to make a lasting impact.


Since then, I've had mornings when I know I'm getting out of bed to make a difference. And I've had quite a few mornings when I'm getting ready for a job that seems completely insignificant. Then there's the present. Right now, I get up in the morning so I can pursue a reason to get up in the morning.

Sure I'm a wife - a pastor's wife at that, strange as it seems. That's a good reason. There are plenty of people to love.

But I find myself wanting so much more. Things are great here. I love watching Mic finally get the chances that he so deserves: a loving church to lead and the opening of a surprise bonus window that features teaching at the college level. The pieces are falling into place.

And at the same time, I'm feeling like the pieces of me are beginning to fall apart. I want to do something exciting. I'm ready to labor in the fields, to dig in my heels and work hard and return home feeling like I've made a difference. But the job search seems to be endless and the options less than inspiring:

A secretary for a company that makes manufactured structures.
An office assistant for a metal company.


Why do I get up in the morning? More and more, it seems the answer will become, "to pay the bills."

It all sounds pretty selfish, I know. And I realize that you can be passionate and make a difference just by living out an example of Christ. To find joy, despite the circumstance. I should know that joy is permanent; that meaning doesn't come from employment and that status doesn't come from title.

But I'm tired of putting off my own dreams, of making my talents sleep in. For just a few more days, I have the luxury of boycotting the snooze button. I'm going to hold out as long as I can.

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