The Dating Game

Looking for a job is like looking for a man.

I can remember asking my parents one January night during college, "do you think anyone normal is ever going to like me?" The night was crisp, the stars were bright, our breath hung in the air and so did the reassuring answer that someday it would happen.

Sometime before my next Midwestern winter, I would like to think that I'll be employed again. But I have to admit that I'm beginning to doubt that there's a potential suitor out there.

First, there's the initial attraction and hope. You get excited about an ad and submit your information and credentials to be scrutinized. This can be fun because you begin to think about the possibilities, how much fun you'll have...it's the dreaming stage.

Then, just when you think you're about to burst from the excitement of it all, you begin to doubt everything because you haven't heard from them within an acceptable period of time. What's wrong? Aren't they interested anymore? Don't they like me? Why aren't they calling? Should I make the first call? Will I come across as too forward? What if they're waiting to see if I'm interested at a deeper level, enough to follow-up with the first contact?

The next step could be rejection. I've had that. Most uniquely, I've now experienced having an alma mater tell me that I'm not qualified for a position with them. Huh. Could that mean that their liberal arts education didn't do well in preparing me for a broad range of careers? Do they not think they've trained me in such a way that I could adapt in a variety of environments and learn new skills, given the opportunity? Rejection is painful, hurts the ego and stays with you.

There's also just plain not knowing. Why didn't they call back? On some of these jobs, I almost want to ask them why they didn't consider me. What is it I'm doing that pushes them away and makes them think I'm not right for the position?

Desperation. I've found myself walking into some very interesting places this past week, wondering what in the world I'm doing, but knowing I need to pay the bills. It's one of those moments when you think of where you've been and wonder what they'd think if they could see you now. It's never good to be desperate. You should respect yourself more than that.

"Meeting the man of your dreams...and then meeting his beautiful wife." If I might borrow from Alanis, this would be another step in the process. I found out about this great position doing news at a radio station and drove over to hand in my resume, only to find out that the position had already been filled.

The Matchmaker. We've got some of them in our church. These are the people that see a need and think they can fill it. Their doctor's office. The supermarket deli. A temp service.

And then there's the promise of new love. Right now I'm in the flirtation stage with a large corporation. They called me earlier this week and said that they were still interested if I was still interested. I told them I was interested and very glad to hear from them. They said they were too busy to call the rest of this week, but they would contact me again early next week. I'm counting the days. I'm so glad to know where we stand right now. I just hope I don't mess anything up until they can get to know me a little better and then really fall for me.

Ah, the dating game. If you play long enough, it'll wear you out.

As for that doubtful night in January...I was leaving the next morning on a mission trip with my future husband. I just didn't know it yet.